Covid-19 has turned everyone's world upside down. People are stuck in their houses. Schools are closed. Most dogs think their prayers have been answered because they are getting all the walks and cuddles. Except my dog. She thinks we've invaded her space and wishes she could have the house to herself so she can nap undisturbed again thankyouverymuch.
Husband and I are trying our best to be productive employees while working from home. We are supremely lucky because our daycare is still open. They are in contact with the local Public Health Department and are taking extra precautions but are miraculously still taking our children out of our home for a few hours a day. We agonize about sending them while also realizing that we can't afford to pay for daycare and not send them. Having three children aged four and under is not conducive to a productive work environment.
One of the hardest parts of all this for me, besides the uncertainty, fear, anxiety, and general and overarching terror, is having my access to my typical coping mechanisms cut off. I can't go to the gym to get some exercise, I can't take a day off by myself because Husband is always home too, when the kids are too much we can't take them to the park to get out their energy. So I try to just hold on the best way I can and shove an iPad in front of my oldest and think about anything except how long this might last.
My oldest turned 4 a week and a half ago. A week and a half is about 3.7 years in quarantine time. She is a smart kid. Like too smart. Like annoyingly smart. I know that sounds like a humble brag but stay with me. She has picked up on EVERYTHING about what's going on and has lots and lots of questions and fears. We have had more than one conversation about what's happening (all initiated by her). The first started by her getting in my car at the end of a day and saying "Mommy, I'm scared of the coronavirus." I just about started sobbing in my seat. So we do our best to explain what a virus is and how it's transmitted to a kid who doesn't get that things can be that tiny. And why it's safe for her to give Husband and me hugs and kisses but not other people. And why the teachers at her school are wearing masks and whether she needs one too. The worries of my girl are big and heavy and no matter what we do, she refuses to put them down or hand them to us and it breaks my heart.
Then there are the people that just make me angry. Well besides the virus deniers (REALLY?!) or the economy before people's health folks (come ON PEOPLE). It's the people who don't seem to understand that even though we love our children, and wanted them desperately, this did NOT mean that we signed up to be with them 24 hours a day 7 days a week for the foreseeable future. They let us know this by commenting wherever they can that we shouldn't have had children if we didn't want to spend time with them. Ummmmmmm, no. We love spending time with our children, we just also assumed there would be playdates, and grandparents, and friends, and activities, and the OUTDOORS FOR GOODNESS SAKE. Something that meant that every single minute of every day wasn't filled with "mommy, mommy, mommy, mommymommymommymommy, MOMMY." To the point where you say you're going to go take your first shower in three days and then try to calculate how long you can be in your room by yourself before it starts to look suspicious that the shower isn't running yet. Not that I would do that or anything.
Coronavirus, COVID-19, is insane and has upended everything that seemed stable. Like grocery shopping, and going to work, and having lunch with friends. So let's be there for each other in any way we can. Because it seems like that is something we still have control over.
(If you are looking for good information on the virus itself, This Podcast Will Kill You has done an amazing series on the topic. You can find their website here.)
Now go be nice to someone and don't forget to WASH YOUR HANDS!!